How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
