Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
