Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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