Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
