Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
