There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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