Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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