He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
