People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The best revenge is premature balding
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
