You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
