just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
