dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
