Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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