So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
