They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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