you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I want her autograph on my taint
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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