y did u give ur computer a hand job?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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