So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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