we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
