Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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