Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
