ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
