Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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