you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
