why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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