so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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