its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
