I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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