What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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