I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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