Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
