she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
