Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
