it hurts more in the daytime
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
