You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
