i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
