She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
