so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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