you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
3pm strippers are depressing
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
