Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
