is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
