The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
