no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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