If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
it glows. i had to have it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
