Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
