Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
