He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
even my farts smell like vagina
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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