Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
