So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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