In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
