My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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