he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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