No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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