thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
